Fleas: Worship in Suffering

Sitting on my bed spending time with the Lord this morning, I am armed with my Bible, journal, cup of tea, and a container of dish soap.

The dish soap is for killing fleas.

My songs of worship are interrupted by the sensation of tiny little bites on my ankles. I open my eyes to see a flea, catch it and put it in the soapy water to drown. That makes about ten.

In one sense, the fleas are no big deal. Yes, I'm covered in itchy bites at the moment, but that's the kind of thing I signed up for when coming to Africa, right? But in another sense, it is the straw breaking the camel's back for me today.

In coming here, I made the conscious decision to follow the Lord whatever the cost. Of course, I didn't know what the cost was. I didn't know that in the first weeks of 2014, my partner and I would face malaria, robbery, two house floodings, a rabid dog bite, emergency medical travel, loss of friend and family.

And fleas. Everywhere.

I am not claiming we have suffered more than others; I know this has been a season of suffering for many.

I am also not looking for sympathy. I am sharing in hopes someone will find encouragement in what I have learned.

A few months ago, a sweet friend shared about a time of suffering and a song that brought her comfort: "Though You Slay Me" by Shane and Shane.

I had heard the song before, and to be honest, it sounds kind of morbid unless you have lived the truth of its words. In light of recent circumstances, it popped back into my mind. The lyrics come from the book of Job, a passage that is a familiar companion to me these days.

Job faced unspeakable loss-- of all his possessions, livestock, his children, his health. His wife advises him to curse God and die. How does he respond?

"Shall we accept good from God and not accept trouble?" (Job 2:10)

In Zambia, it is in fashion for people to pray boldly to the point of presumption, saying things like "we refuse any sickness to come upon us, we refuse anything that would cause us to fail our exams, we refuse any evil person coming into power in our country" etc.

What a contrast to Job's response.

I don't care who you are, you cannot escape hardships in this life. Whether you pray those presumptuous prayers or not, whether you are a good person or an evil person, whether you are an atheist or Christian-- no one is exempt from suffering. It's a part of life in this world.

How then can we come to terms with a God who allows his children to suffer?
Can he stop it? Yes.
Does he stop it? Not always.

We cry out, asking him why, telling him we absolutely cannot take any more.

We think God should explain himself to us.

So did Job.

And in fact, in Job's case, there was a really good story behind the loss-- if you're not familiar, check out Job 1-2.

But the main thing to be learned by reading the messy, confusing book of Job is that suffering and grief are… messy and confusing. Neatly packaged answers like "God must be punishing you for something"  or "God won't give you more than you can handle" are not only unhelpful and untrue, but they fail to grasp the complexity of suffering.

That's the mistake Job's friends made. They were so fixated on finding an answer for why God was allowing him to suffer that they came to false and hurtful conclusions. These friends who came to comfort him ended up condemning: "Is not your wickedness great? Are not your sins endless?… that is why snares are all around you… Submit to God and… in this way prosperity will come to you." (Job 22:2, 10, 21)

If someone said that to me, I would probably respond just like Job: "miserable comforters you all are!" (Job 16:1)

So at the end of the story when the Lord finally speaks, I find myself thinking, you tell 'em! Put them in their place! 

And the Lord does put them in their place.

But he also passes up the perfect opportunity to tell Job why he was suffering.

Um… God? you know that part where Satan is looking for someone to test and you SUGGEST Job because he's the most righteous man on earth? Well… did you mean to explain that back story to Job? Because I think you forgot.

Of course He didn't forget. He is God.

The grave truth is this: sometimes he doesn't want to give us the reason why we're suffering. And he is not obligated to do so.

So then the question becomes: will I serve a God I can't explain or contain? Or perhaps a better question is, if I can understand and rationalize everything my god does, is it really the LORD I am worshipping?

Our God's thoughts are so much higher than ours, we will never be able to see the whole picture. But his word gives us fragments of answers.

Suffering is universal. (John 16:33)
God does not delight in our suffering. (Lamentations 3:32-33)
Suffering has an eternal purpose. (2 Corinthians 4:17, 2 Corinthians 1:3-7)
Suffering produces fruit. (Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-4)
Where he permits suffering, he brings healing. (Hosea 6:1, 1 Peter 5:10)
Christ suffered in order to put an end to our suffering forever. (Acts 17:2-3, Revelation 21:4)

How do we respond to that? To a God who doesn't always spare us from the inevitable hardships of life and sometimes, like in Job's case, specifically ordains or allows them? Yet because of his sovereignty, no suffering is meaningless, and there is no hurt he won't heal.

...For me, I choose to worship him.

To echo the words of Job, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him."

It doesn't mean I understand it. I may have no idea what good it's doing.

I remember reading The Hiding Place in middle school. Corrie Ten Boom and her sister Betsy were in a flea-infested concentration camp. Betsy thanked God for the fleas; Corrie refused to. Later they found out their guards avoided entering their room because the fleas were so bad. They turned out to be a blessing after all.

To be honest, I haven't found anything good about the fleas.

Suffering still hurts.

Yet I will praise him.

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 

1 Peter 5:10