Stillness

Today was a personal retreat day at orientation, where we got to take some time alone with the Lord. Now for some people it is difficult to spend the better part of an afternoon in silence, but to me, stillness is beautiful :)

As I asked him to show me the state of my heart, he convicted me of being very distracted at times. Questions swirling around about how to involve my partner churches, what is the most effective way to engage my people group, will I face difficult communication barriers, what do I need to learn about the culture before I hit the field… and on and on. While those aren't bad things, they can serve as a distraction from the most important thing: Christ's sacrifice. The Lord spoke to me, 

You can't serve me unless you love me. 

You can't love me unless I love you first. 

You can't understand my love for you unless you are intentional about reflecting upon it.

All my preparations are not what is going to make me a "good" missionary. Only the love of Christ can do that. That is the reason Paul prayed that the Ephesian church would have the power to grasp how wide and deep and long and high is the love of Christ! (Eph 3:16-19) That they would somehow begin to wrap their minds around this love that surpasses our knowledge and understanding! When we recognize the expanse of his love, we are compelled to share the gospel.

As it turns out, the reverse is also true! The more we share it with others, the more we are made aware of his great love for us. That's why Paul also says "I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." (Philemon 1:6)

I cannot make any claims about myself that qualify me for the job the Lord has set before me. But he has shown me his love, and I can share it with those who have never heard. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are!"